ICS Counselors on Navigating Transitions in Times of Uncertainty

by Daniel Inman, ICS Counselor

As our school year comes to a close, transitions are happening all around us – whether it’s moving to a new grade, changing schools & countries, preparing for travel, or simply shifting to a summer routine. While change can be exciting, it often brings feelings of uncertainty that can cause stress for both children and adults. 

Research by psychologist Michael Pollack shows that uncertainty itself, not just negative events, is a major source of stress for the brain. Transition expert Doug Ota reminds us that during times of change, what people need most is a “safe harbour”: a sense of belonging, predictability, and emotional safety amid the unknown. 

Here are some ways to help both children AND adults feel more anchored during this time of transition: 

For children: (look at the links below for what you might see in your children)

• Acknowledge their feelings. Help children understand that feeling nervous, excited, sad, or even lost during times of change is normal. Naming emotions gives them power over their feelings. 
• Create islands of predictability. Maintain familiar routines whenever possible; regular meals, bedtime rituals, or family traditions offer comfort when everything else feels new or changing. 
• Focus on relationships. Strong relationships are a child’s primary ‘safe harbor’. Spend extra time connecting with family, staff, and friends as school wraps up. And make plans to stay in contact in the future. 
• Give them small choices. Empower them to feel some control by offering simple choices: “What book should we read tonight? Which activity sounds fun?” 

For adults:

• Take care of yourself and find ways to manage your stress. Remember that your well-being directly impacts how you care for your children and your child’s sense of security. Prioritize self-care in ways that work for you. 
• Stay connected through conversation. Frequent, low-pressure conversations help children feel seen and supported. A simple, “How are you feeling about the end of the year?” can open doors. 
• Be patient with your process. Adjustment takes time. Some children may show excitement now and struggle later–or vice versa. This is not a linear process. Consistent support matters most amidst the many ups and downs of change. 
• Model resilience and genuineness relative to your experience. Share your feelings and coping strategies in the face of uncertainty. When children see adults navigating change with openness and flexibility, they learn to do the same. 

Want to learn more? Here are some helpful resources for deeper reading: 

• The Stress of Uncertainty by Melissa Hughes–a quick look at why uncertainty stresses our brains and how to handle it
• Safe Passage: How Mobility Affects People & What International Schools Should Do About It by Doug Ota (https://www.spanschools.org/) – a foundational guide for understanding transitions in global communities
• The Stress Response in Kids by WholeHearted School Counseling gives a visual of the different responses we might see in children
• ICS Counselors’ presentation on Supporting Families in Transition slide deck

Your school counseling team is here to partner with you in supporting your child’s transition and well-being. Please reach out if you or your child needs support or more ideas.